So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
