Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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