It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
