So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
