so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
