Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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