Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
