There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
