She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She's the barista slut.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
