So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
