Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
