She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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