Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
