kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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