just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
