I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
