Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
