The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Boobs speak an international language.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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