so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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