Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
