Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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