remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
