the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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