I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
