I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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