forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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