toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
