I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
