I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
