We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
