Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
