I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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