Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
