I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
