how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
