not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
