I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
