I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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