You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
