I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
