hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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