Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
