btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
