Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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