Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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