No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
