he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
