remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
