but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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