I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So much Jack, so little girl.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
