Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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